Mom is spelled LYLE

 


Life Lessons & Memories
  • Mom doesn't have to be spelled M-O-M; it can be spelled L-Y-L-E.
  • Mom doesn't have to be the person who gave birth to you; she's the person who loves you fiercely and does the work. Because of Lyle's love for all her kids, she taught me how to be a mom to the children I didn't birth but that lived in my heart far before God placed them in my arms and our house.  Adopting someone has little to do with paperwork but all to do with love (the action not the feeling).
  • Moms are the people who stand firm when it would be easier to give in to the fight.  They have the tough conversations with you, but always have your back.  Even if she didn't believe it for herself, or think I'd choose it, she was the only parent who offered this pregnant 16 year old three options. Lyle could have a tough outer shell that protected her heart, but she had a big heart that beat for her family.
  • Moms SHOW UP when you need them, even when they can't be in the room.  Lyle and Dad turned around after leaving Casper to sit in a hospital waiting room for several hours, even though they weren't able to actually see their new grandbaby.   Several years later, she was there when I woke up after my hysterectomy, just to sit there with me, and knit away.
  • Moms send care packages to college, even with silly things mentioned in casual conversation or a tv advertisement, like a new brand of razor.
  • Moms make sure you have clean underwear and food in your fridge, whether you are a college student, living 3000 miles away, a poor, married couple, new parents, or just anytime you talk.
  • Moms buy you your favorite cheap teapot and spend 4times the price to mail it overnight to Hawaii for your birthday, because you've looked everywhere and can't find one... (in the days when Amazon was only books.)
  • Lyle believed in education for all of us, whether that was a certification, degree, or trade.  She herself should have received a doctorate in worrying.  She had 55 years of experience worrying for and about her kids, grands, and greats.
  • Moms put their own feelings on the backburner and encourage their kids to make choices for themselves.  They make sure their kids have both roots and wings.
    • As we were talking about my grad school options, and I was torn between a full ride to midwestern schools and a lot of debt to go to Hawaii, I clearly remember the conversation with Lyle and her saying "Well, Jenni, what do YOU want to do?"  Now that I am a mom, I can't imagine putting my children on a plane to move 3000 miles away, even when they're independent (young) adults, and waiting until they leave to cry. 
  • Lyle taught us the value and tenacity it takes to have long, happy marriages.  She was blessed with two of those long marriages, and while I didn't know Roger, I saw how well she loved Dad. At my wedding reception, Lyle and Sandy pulled me aside to give me advice for hanging on in the hard times, because there will be hard times.
  • Porch sitting and shade following are not only great ways to relax and catch up, but also great for people watching & listening, as well as creating stories about strangers and identifying EVs/Telsas.  Our July week in Park City won't be the same without her sitting beside me.
  • Lyle loved her Savior Jesus as much as she loved her kids, grandkids, and great grands.  That love for Christ grew over the past 20 years.
  • In 2019 I bought a new Bible and was showing it to her during a visit.  She asked me what my favorite verse was and then I asked for hers.  She said Romans 8:38-39.  I marked it in my Bible and I'm sure glad I did.  The last part of her life, her faith grew and she was unashamed to share it.  She told me this past summer that she was at peace with meeting the Lord when it was her time and that she wasn't going to be tied to a dialysis machine; I wanted to fight her and say no.  But her declaration and firm faith were reassuring.  She's now at peace and after the shock of hearing she was gone, boy did that recollection help me to be just as sure of the eternal glory she woke up to on the night she left us.
Grands & Greats were her life.
  • As Xavier was learning to walk and cruising around the furniture, he fell and caught his left eyebrow on the end table in her living room.  Lyle called Becky to see if we should take him to the ER; she was crying and sobbing so hard she was unintelligible.  Yet I was calm and when we were kids, she probably would have been too.
  • When we moved Xavier to a different room and were considering not having a tv, she said, "Who do I need to talk to about this TV situation?!?" Suffice it to say, he's had a tv in his room ever since.
  • As we were contemplating the idea of the kinship adoption plan for Alexis, before Skye was even born, Lyle's first reaction was wondering how it would change life for the almost four of us.  She called me several days later, after praying about it, and realized that the plan had nothing to do with any of us but with how it would change Alexis's life and make a difference for her. 
  • One fall afternoon in 2022, we were chatting and Lyle had a unique way of sharing that Waylon and Bodhi were expected. She asked "How many grandkids do I have (12)? and we named them all; "how many greats (four)?" and we named them. Then she said "no, 5", then "no, 6".  So when Matt told me he was having another, I called her and said "How many great grands do you have?" now 7
Memories
  • While Lyle was dating Dad, he was in a swing dance class.  I remember Jason and I planning with her how we'd ambush the class.  I don't think we ever did, but it was a fun idea.
  • "When Cows Fly"  Her and Dad's response to when/if they'd get married.
  • A person can never have enough bags.  There are purses, bags for crafts, and just bags to hold all your bags.
  • She was crafty (cross stitch, knitting, crocheting).  She taught me to cross-stitch, but it's hard to do that and read at the same time.  She tried to teach me to knit, but I decided to start with a massive project and it's been 25 years and I've never finished it.
  • I remember her telling the story of her hysterectomy.  At her pre-op, the doctor told her she would need to stop vacuuming and he never told her she could resume after she healed.
  • When Lyle was wound tight, you better watch out.  "Smith's fit" has been a part of our normal vocabulary for several decades.
  • One day, Dad started choking on a piece of bacon. She tried to give him the Heimlich maneuver but couldn't get her arms around him. So she just beat on his chest with her fist.  It worked but I could only imagine what the neighbors or someone driving by would have thought.  And she flat didn't care.  I remember her saying "They'll only look once".  Also she said you could do the "hind-lick" and it would work just as well as the Heimlich.
  • She loved to tease.  When she realized our brother-in-law Arron baked pecan pies, anytime she saw him she'd always ask if he had one for her.
  • Lyle called me Jenni Lou, even though my middle name was the same as hers and Becky's.  During my time in Laramie, I decided to get personalized plates.  You had to give 3 options and she was confused about why I didn't request JLO. And I had to remind her that JAO were my initials then.
  • We loved to talk books.  I'd text or email every year when there was a new John Grisham or Nicholas Sparks.  Recently she'd become a fan of Kristin Hannah and would tell me about the new ones. 

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