fostering a life of faith

It has been one year since our third life altering phone call. Bits of each of those calls will never leave my memory. Call one (2010): "Are you ready to be a mom?". Call two (2015): "A birthmom wants you to..", Call three: "I bet you didn't expect to hear from me" when all I could think was "it's about time. What took so long."

This year we faced obstacles we hadn't anticipated.  From figuring out how to manage our circus of five to navigating the confusing, often debilitating world of foster care, we have made forward progress while being whipped around and dragged down by rules, regulations, and hiccups we didn't expect and/or weren't prepared or ready to handle.

We have faced fears of the unknown and bittersweet joys in the progress of checking off boxes and jumping over the next, often ridiculous, hurdle. We have locked worries away in the recesses of our minds because we know deep in our souls that this girl is ours and that any other realm of possibility is a horror and a tragedy we aren't willing to acknowledge. ..  And sometimes we have let those fears take over for just a short time.

We have prayed for smooth sailing and quick action, while grieving losses our daughter doesn't realize her life is experiencing.  We have shaken our heads at what we see as selfish actions, while having to take steps back and decide how to protect our hearts and our children and where to place ourselves while continuing to be kind and loving.  We have celebrated brief victories, knowing that the peace would be short-lived.

And now we wait.. some more....for an unknown end date... and a long awaited resolution.. We're attempting to practice the patience we've gained through our years of infertility and parenting... and the faith to get us to some future moment when we can finally, proudly, be forever the official and legal parents of this love. All the while knowing that the lingering issues in her life won't be resolved until this can be all over.

This year we decided to say yes to something we said we would never do and thank God we did. This little Faith of ours is magnificent and worth everything we've been through (and will go through) for her.