I Love Doin' Nothin' With You
Awhile back, X and I were cuddling in bed one night. Somehow we started talking about our favorite family activities and sharing them with baby S. X mentioned that he loves watching football with his dad, cuddled up in the big recliner, probably drinking pop and eating sweets.
I foolishly asked what his favorite thing was to do with me. My mind went to all the fun things we do together and all the opportunities I purposefully create so we can have special times. Days I take off work to go to school events, dates to the dinosaur museum, reading, etc. Mom and X time.
But the words that came out of his mouth shocked me. "Nothin'"
I quickly pulled my jaw off the bed and said, "what do you mean, nothin'?" as I tried to disguise my hurt and look for that sinister spark of tease in his eye, which was totally not there. He wasn't messing with me, so whatever could he mean?
"Nothin'. You know, like today, when we did nothin'." And then it clicked and my heart was warm and exploded.
That Sunday, I was lazy. It was Daddy's sleep-in day, so I let X pull me out of bed and down the stairs. He asked to watch his favorite show and I obliged. And every time he asked to watch another, I said yes. We were super lazy. The only time he got up, it was to come cuddle for a few minutes and then go back to his chair. I'm sure we ate a bunch of junk, nothing properly cooked and definitely not served or eaten at the kitchen table.
I was focused on a craft project that was necessary to decompress and bring me back to focus. I kept saying yes to TV show after TV show against my better thoughts and judgement. I felt lazy and full of guilt.
But yet, it was his favorite day. That comment about "nothin'" has helped me focus on being my best mom-self and accepting that I don't have to be "on" every day.
As much as I try to give him fun experiences, sometimes just being us, curled up relaxing and not worrying about the go-go-go is just what we need to do and be. And I look forward to many more days of nothin' with my boy.